Talking to your Coaches

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Talking to your Coaches

Post  Parent Coach on Fri Sep 04, 2009 1:35 pm

My son is 10 and has been playing football since he was 6. He has been a starter on both sides of the ball this entire time. I have coached in the past (never coached my sons team though) and wanted to get some feedback on some ways to talk to our coach without offending him or causing my son to hit the bench. so here goes.

After starting both offense and defense for the past three years my son is now only starting on Defense. We took a week vacation and came back to him being taken off both the special teams as the returner and starting offense as the full back. He works extreamly hard and does deserve to start. He really wants to know why it happened and what he can do about it. I need to speak to the coach, but when parents used to come to me about similar stuff it was always tough to see if they were doing it for themselves or for the kid. I certainly dont want to fall into that catagory with our coaches, they are really very good coaches. Just a note: one of the coaches kids missed the first week of practice and didnt loose his place from last year.

Any feedback would be great.

Parent Coach

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Feel your dilemma

Post  pastor tim on Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:32 am

Like yourself I have a 10 year-old boy whose been playing for 3 years now. In my case I face the challenge of having a boy who excels in the sport. During the last three years he has now rushed for 49 tds - yes, 49 tds. I would strongly reflect that my son has been a humble and very coachabl;e kid throughout his football experience. He would never seek glory or "brag" about his extraordinary accomplishments. Unfortunately the coaches are quite concerned that their boys aren't getting the glory they hoped would come by their being the coaches controlling whose boys are automatically placed in the starting lineup - including that of QB. I've heard this labeled "daddy ball." It is so very destructive. Last year our 4th grade team won our league's lower division Super Bowl. That led to our being placed into the upper division - a much more competitive division. Having dealt with this now for 3 years I'm at wits' end as to how to proceed. The coaching staff now completely ignores anything I might suggest that will actually give the team its best opportunity to succeed (win), especially now that we are in the highly competitive upper division of our league. Each suggestion I make as an assistant coach is met with the assumption that it is all about my son. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I want the teakm to succeed and it appears that unfortunately when my son succeeds and the team wins instead of enjoyment - hurtful disrespect and disregard results. Likewise, their disregard has led to my son being injured due to poor play-calling and disregard for better blocking schemes. All this is clearly done in order to open up opportunities for their own boys - whether or not they are in the best interests of the team. Not a fun position for my son - or his mom and dad - to be in. Luckily, the season is coming to a close. Unfortunately I and my son have had our fill of this ridiculous behavior. he hates the thought of leaving his friends, but this isn't fun either. Daddy Ball hurts everyone! Looking for another league for next season.

pastor tim

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